The genre of “book review” has always been of interest to me. I personally blame my English degree. Which is why I found this NY Times review off-putting, even though “Zone One” was given a favourable rating. I think that both the porn star and the intellectual could sympathize with my confusion.
“Suitability should be considered in choosing your stationery, just as in choosing a piece of furniture for your house. For a handwriting that is habitually large, pick a paper of a larger size than you would choose for writing that is small.”—Emily Post’s Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage, 11th edition, 1965 (via sharikasman)
When is a lawn no longer a lawn? When it looks like the non-lawn in that photo. I googled “disaster eating lawn grass Toronto” and the first entry that appeared was a page on the City of Toronto website in the Toronto Animal Services section. It says that raccoons are…
Friends, I am pleased to announce that with each passing day, public outrage is tightening around the neck of infant guinea pig look-a-like and Dragnet Magazine editor Jeremy Hanson-Finger like a noose. His plot to replace my hallowed column (Sober Second Thoughts: Moralistic Musings on the Decline of Western Civilization) with his mother’s trivial “blog” about flowers, as well as coerce me into reporting on the activities of TWEENS, has encountered stalwart opposition.
Yesterday evening, in an inspiring scene of unity, a congregation of men erupted from the Mausoleum Club and marched forth down Plutoria avenue banging pots and pans all the way to Jeremy Hanson-Finger’s dilapidated tenement slum where, after using an adjacent hobo to batter the door ajar, we stormed inside and staged a sit-in!
In a series of Machiavellian twists so malicious, so malevolent as to fill Julius Caesar’s heart with sympathy, Jeremy Hanson-Finger (editor of the once acclaimed Dragnet Magazine) has plotted to replace ME, Percival W. Pennyweather, with a woman whose ONLY discernible qualifications are her passion for tulips and that she is Jeremy Hanson-Finger’s MOTHER!
Jeremy Hanson-Finger claims that he merely wishes everyone to ‘share’. Horse feathers.
The truth, as can be gleaned by the correspondences below, is much more sinister:
Is there a water wall between the reception area and the relaxation-purification-epilation-rehydration-microdermabrasion area of your spa? Have you ever thought of stealing that water wall when the receptionist is on her nail-filing break? It’s tempting, I know. Read More.
Photo: A real look at inside of the Catholic School’s gym
I was a deputy last week. Really, I was. I worked as Deputy Registration Officer at a polling station on Election Day (there was an election in Ontario!). If you think deputies always wear gold star badges, you’re wrong. I wore a glitzless white sticker that said “Poll Officer” and had the privilege of sitting on a plastic chair in a Catholic School gym for 12 hours…more.